How to not get affected by your past.

The book "The courage to be hated" explains that your past will not affect your future. What does is the decision you make now and the goal attached to it.

A lot of times, my past has determined my goals that I haven't even realised. For example, when people asks help from me, I would not feel happy, and really unwilling to take time to help. That's because my goal is to make myself happy, and I will only entertain events that makes myself euphoric.

Another example, when I watch porn. The goal is to get rid of boredom and feel euphoric. When I game, I want to have a sense of superiority. When I am around people, and I feel uneasy and not talk to them, because I don't want to look weird, plus I don't want to feel vulnerable.

Realising these, I just need to switch my goal when I am presented in a situation when it's undesirable for me. For example, if someone is asking for help from me, I can reframe my goal from it makes me feel bad to doing charity, and building relationships.

I can reframe being bored, so I need to watch porn to there's nothing for me to worry about, so just do nothing.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Option B

 Joy is a discipline We often do things that makes us happy, but are we truly happy? We scroll through social media after work after a day of hectic work. Sometimes, we would go out with our friends to hang out, to wind down. Sure, it can be relaxing to some. But deep down, are we truly happy? Happiness is a state where we can hold our peace. Sometimes we do things that we think makes us happy, but most times people mistaken their sense of boredom as being unhappy. They feel like the they need to fill in the gap within themselves to only feel happiness. This is what I label as, Chasing the Highs. Sure, it can make us happy in the short term, but later, a void wraps within our soul. We feel unsatisfied, we feel like it's not enough, and we want more. I argue that, happiness isn't something that we should chase. It's something to be earned. And by being earned, we experience long lasting peace. For example, we can take notice of the joy we feel throughout the day. By making a...
Read more

I feel like I hate myself

I said something that was intended to be a joke, but it sounded like I'm criticizing her. I don't know where this thoughts came from, and I've never felt this way before.  I've always been quite self absorbed to a point that I don't care about what others think, but today, for some reason, it felt like I cared so much that I can't work at all. And I feel like this feeling is bringing me down a spiral. I know this is just temporary, and I should just accept my feelings as it is, but the feeling felt like it's constantly looming inside me., and it doesn't feel like it's getting better. Is it because I need to change my thoughts? Is it because.. I just need to accept as it is and move on, maybe worry about something even greater than whatever it is now?  I feel like the brothel visit has made me less passionate for my goal. I can feel like I'm losing the purpose of writing. And it sucks. And most importantly, is it even healthy that I'm having t...
Read more

Be the better version of yourselves.

 Often times, I feel like the need to rush through things, to get things done with the shortest amount of time. This feeling often backfires, and I would always go back to porn because I can't feel passionate about reaching my goal, or I would always feel content and bored, and have a thought like "it's been some time since I have played erotic games, wouldn't hurt to play for a short while." But this feeling couldn't be trusted. I should distract myself from it by doing other things. And if I ever go back, it's my subconscious thought that leads me in. My conscious thoughts should stop myself from doing it. But anyways, I'm writing this article because I would like to note down some things that I find helpful from reading a book called "The courage to be hated".  It says to find your own tempo in progression life. That means to find what makes you happy, while also doing the things that helps you progress towards your goal. Also, the danger ...
Read more