Philosophy

 I'm feeling tempted to watch a glimpse of porn. But I know that if I give in, it will spiral downwards. I also know that if I don't listen to it, the voice for the greater good is louder the next time.  What should I do now? I think I should just sleep and don't think so much. I know porn is bad, after watching it, I will feel very bad, and I'm just wasting my potential for watching it. I am a person with a lot of potential.  I don't know what am I feeling right now. Nothing I guess? Contentment? I don't know to be honest. I think I want to watch porn, but I know it's bad, so don't think about watching porn.. I really don't know what should I write, so I will probably end my journal here.

 Have you ever noticed certain unwanted actions and thoughts patterns in your life, that you feel stuck at, and feel like it's unchangeable. That you hoped that if you just did something different in the past, then maybe it feels more hopeful that that unwanted pattern will be rid of your life for good? I certainly have, and I have found out a couple the solution that works for me. The key is to finding an ideal system, so you can take action to the solution that you've thought, to correct and overwrite that unwanted thoughts pattern.  So here is the thought process to how I will create my system: For example, let's say I have a bad habit of watching porn. but it's getting pretty out of hand lately. Sometimes it controls my life as I could feel like my brain is starting to sexualize everything that I see, and I don't feel the guilt in watching porn, and also, the helplessness I feel when I get the desire to watch porn. So, after watching porn, I'll feel bad abou...

I feel like there is an empty void in my heart that's waiting to be filled. I desire greatly to do something in life. Be it earning money, or contributing positively to society and taking care of my body. I feel like I'm full of potential, I could've done so many things in life, but I'm not. I feel like a loser. The fact that I'm seeing people opening hotel, restaurants, and starting their business is making me feel like doing something, but I don't know what should I do. I kept reading books, strive to fight for something like reading books, following a mentality that brings net positive results, but I don't know if those are going to really benefit me. I feel like I could be wasting time, and wasting the golden period of my life, that I will ever get back. I'm scared, I feel like I should be focusing on health. Because I feel like I'm trading health for something that doesn't even bring any benefits. And I feel like my perspective in life, as w...

 My heart feels like it's about to burst. It feels like I want to explode emotionally, just cry out, but I can't. I did this once, and it hurts so bad. This normally happens when I emotionally suppress myself. I do that by forcing myself to not show any emotions, but whenever I do that, I feel that tiny blockage in my heart that doesn't feel right. This tiny blockage can build up to a point where it feels like I'm having a heart attack, but it actually means that I need to channel or express myself so I can feel better. It all started because I felt doing things that makes me feel bad about myself, like watching porn and masturbating. It feels shameful when people know that I can do this things for hours a day, and continuously for multiple days. This makes me put on a brave face when I go out, which makes me feel unnatural and tense around people. I can't be myself since I would be a weirdo that wants to talk to anyone or behave weirdly by being inappropriately clo...

The Most Underrated Communication Skill Is Letting People Fill in the Blanks The Most Underrated Communication Skill Is Letting People Fill in the Blanks Most people think better communication means saying more . More detail. More explanation. More precision. But some of the most effective communication happens when you say less — and let the other person’s imagination complete the message. Humans are incredibly good at reconstructing meaning from fragments. We do it every day without noticing. A few keywords, a shared context, and a basic understanding of intent are often enough for two people to understand each other perfectly. Once you notice this, you start realizing that communication is not just about transmitting information. It’s about triggering understanding. And the people who understand this tend to communi...

 I’ve always had a problem with socializing and finding a place where I belong. It really created this sense of loneliness, and also made it hard for me to stay in a group for a long time without feeling like my presence was a nuisance. I also found it really hard to motivate myself to put effort into being part of a group in order to make it work. But recently, I came across a concept from a book called The Courage to Be Disliked. The author says that if a person ever decides that he wants to do something, he must have the courage to do it. And in order to have the courage to do something, he must feel like he is able to bring value. That feeling — that a person is able to contribute and bring value — massively increases his confidence and sense of worth. And when he has that sense of value, then he will be able to bring himself to do what he wants, like putting effort into bringing value to a group and being part of it, eventually developing a sense of belonging. But in a working...

Today’s Blender session was frustrating. I kept running into the same feeling over and over again: I don’t know how to do anything. Every small task felt difficult, and every mistake made me question whether I was even capable of learning this skill in the first place. It’s hard sitting in front of software that feels so powerful while feeling completely lost inside it. At the same time, my mind wasn’t just fighting Blender. Negative thoughts kept creeping in too — especially the feeling of always being the social outcast in groups. Those thoughts have a way of attaching themselves to everything. Suddenly, struggling with a tutorial doesn’t just feel like struggling with a tutorial. It starts feeling like proof that you’re behind everyone else. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I kept reminding myself of something important: learning anything worthwhile is painful at the start. I remembered a video of a woman trying to lose weight. She was eating salad while crying because of how h...

For the past year, I’ve felt stuck. Not in a dramatic way, but in the exhausting, lingering kind of way where nothing you do ever feels enough. No matter what I accomplish, there’s always this pressure in the back of my mind telling me I should be doing more, achieving more, becoming more. And strangely, the stronger that desire becomes, the heavier it feels. It stops being motivation and starts becoming a burden. A lot of these realizations started when I began watching Dr. K. The way he articulates human emotions is almost unsettling sometimes. He explains feelings so precisely that it feels like he’s reading thoughts you didn’t even know how to express yourself. I think part of me wants to become someone like that. Not necessarily a psychologist or self-help figure, but someone who can articulate emotions clearly enough that other people feel understood. There’s something powerful about hearing your own struggles reflected back at you in words you could never find yourself. Maybe th...